Let it Go

I just got a call from the school I was to interview at tomorrow. They said that both positions that I was to interview for were filled. great.

I feel like I'm getting pushed to my breaking point. I've never cried about not getting a job before and right now I'm crying. The most frustrating thing is I don't even have a chance to show what I can offer to them. If I was able to interview and get rejected, fine, at least I gave it a shot.

Why do I get to go through this every single year? Nothing is ever constant for me. People younger than me are advancing in their career and I'm not even stuck in a rut; you need to be on the path to get stuck. I'm on the outskirts looking in.

This has been a tumultuous past couple months, a lot of things I've been trying to wrestle through and figure out, car troubles and lack of job progress... This is the tipping point where I have no one else to turn to but God.

I know that He will be faithful in the end, but it's so hard to see it right now. This is probably the answer to my prayers for greater dependence on Him huh?

Anyways, this song is really resonating with me right now. Strange, because I first heard it a couple days ago.

Time to stop wallowing in pity and let these things go to the One who can actually do something about it.

Glimmer of Hope!

I got a call this afternoon from a charter school Texas Empowerment Academy asking if I was available for an interview next Thursday @ 8am. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? OF COURSE!

It's funny because any time I get a call from a number I don't recognize, I go through such a rush of different emotions, it's confusing. First it's confusion, quickly followed by a sharp intake of breath as I hope it's from a school, then the chill of pessimism telling myself not to get my hopes up, and the forced calmness as I pick up the phone. So when the voice asked if I was Mr. Lee, I actually sputtered something incoherent. I think I tried to say something like "Yes this is Mr. Lee", but ended up saying "Yes, this is him Mr. Lee." I coughed in order to try covering up the awkwardness and repeated "Yes this is Mr. Lee" afterwards.

So yeahhhh, the woman said there are a couple openings and she's not sure what will be interviewed for, but whatever, I'll take anything.

I just need to get my car situation settled now!!! Yay God!

Now we celebrate!

Just wanted to let you all know that I got a call like 30 min ago that I got the elementary teaching position!!! Starting this 2010-2011 school year, I am an official, legit teacher. I'm really excited to start, but I really want to thank God for providing this opportunity. Seriously, I've never gotten a job by my own interviewing merit (ever), so this is such a big blessing.

Thank you for all your prayers and support, I wish I could take you all out to eat somewhere but I can't, so this will have to suffice. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Now I wait

Hey all,

Just wanted to thank all of yous who lifted up a prayer for my interview. I'm not gonna lie, I got really nervous this morning, but after making sure to drink 2 bottles of water (I get cotton-mouthed when I'm nervous) and bringing another bottle for the interview, I made the 40 minute drive to the school.

First impression? The school is HUGE. First of all, it's located in the boonies of hicktown, but it is easily bigger than my high school in Troy. It's only 2 years old, and the place looks really nice. When I entered, the thing that struck me was how bright and colorfully painted the school was. It just made you happy to be in there and can see how kids would love coming in too.

When I met the principal and two teachers, I couldn't help but notice how young they were. The principal seemed to be around mid-late 30s and the teachers seemed to be my age or a bit older.

How'd the interview go? Surprisingly well! Well, I was incredibly scared during the first two questions (Tell us a little bit about yourself and your education background) and I think I came off really nervous and insecure (which I was). But I think people started praying cuz I began loosening up after that and the rest of the interview went really well. I was even able to make a couple jokes and tell some stories from working at the middle school and it seemed like they liked me.

Anyways, we'll see by the end of the week which is when I'll hear back. Until then, all I can do is wait and see. But Thanks THANKS THANKS again for all your prayers, it was much appreciated. =)

Yay God

So the Teaching Exam I took last week turned out well! I didn't just pass it, but pretty much crushed it. Thank God! 1 more next weekend and then I'm officially TX certified! Now I just need to hear back from schools....

What's with those ads?

You may have noticed the ad bar in my blog and wondered why the heck it was there. Well, it's been there since I started my job search in Austin and I was seriously considering being a "professional blogger".

Pretty much all the job search websites I browsed would list testimonials of how some schlub started making thousands of dollars each month just by blogging. At first I scoffed at the idea that someone could make a living from blogging, but as I got more desperate, I began researching into the feasibility of being a blogger. I saw how many mainstream bloggers all used Google's adsense (and made bank) so I decided to give it a try.

Thankfully, I ended up getting a job within a week of implementing adsense because with my earnings thus far, I wouldn't have enough to buy a value meal. Looking back, it's pretty funny what kind of schemes I came up with to get money. I figure I'll have this blog for a couple years, so I'm going to keep the program running. It's based on people checking out the ads so feel free if you're so inclined. If not, no biggy.

Preparations

It's about that time to start preparing for job searching for next year. I'll be fillin out a lot of paperwork, droppin some dough, and getting my networking on. Thankfully God has already started opening some doors for me since I came back from break. Our principal retired and the day I came back to work, I met his replacement for the first time. We got to talkin and she asked what my future plans were.

When I let her know I was hoping to get a teaching position in elementary school, she let me know that there was a new school opening up next year and she would help put a good word in for me. I still have to do a lot before May (which is the in-district job fair), but it's encouraging to see God starting to move.

Best News... EVER!

So you guys remember that interview that I mentioned a couple weeks ago @ Del Valle Middle School? I just got the call today that told me to officially come in to work...TOMORROW. Holy crap, I am so excited! Nervous too... but freakin overjoyed. Seriously, God is GOOD.

Interview with the Head Hunters

I had an interview with Career Consultants yesterday, this company that Ben and Michelle used to find their current job. It wasn't supposed to be anything too serious, but I wanted to look professional so I put on a shirt and tie for the occasion and did my hair. Once again, I was struck by how difficult it was to dress up and walk outside in the heat. I normally don't have issues with sweating, but man, I could feel steam building up underneath my collar and I had to vent it every couple minutes to keep from boiling. It's no wonder that all buildings blast their AC, I don't think working people could survive in their get-ups without it.

Anyways, I show up 30 minutes early 1) b/c I left an hour early in case I got lost and 2) because that's how my dad raised me. After quite a bit of time, I finally meet my consultant, Mr. Grant S. He seemed like a pretty cool guy, and we just spend a couple minutes just getting to know each other and all that good stuff. After discussing my long term goals and career options the company could offer, we basically came to the conclusion that for now, it would probably be best to look for temporary positions (jobs that will last a couple months at a time) instead of permanent ones since I wasn't sure how long I would be in Austin.

All in all, it went well, and apparently I ask good questions, because as we were wrapping up, I reached over to pick up the stack of papers he gave me, I saw him mark off on a list of characteristics "intelligent". Hahaha, definitely fooled him!

Something to start thinking through and praying over... how long I'll be in Austin for.

Job Search Update

Alright. I've done the following things:

-Called various elementary schools asking for availabilities in any support positions (left messages on many machines)

- Put myself in the substitute teaching pool

- Browsing Craigslist and various other job search websites for any jobs I'm qualified for

- Just sent in a formal application for Acton Academy (hope they still are looking for someone)

- Am contemplating being an online freelance writer for a website.


*Side Note: Am really diggin Mat Kearney's music right now... Will write more about him later
"Nothing Left to Lose"

Displaced

After almost 5 days in Austin, I have to say, the adjustment period has been a lot more difficult than I expected. It's kinda like being the "new guy" in a school where you already know people but there's an established routine and set of friendships that you need to get used to. Don't get me wrong, I'm really glad to be here, and I'm excited for what this year has to offer, but I finally understand how lonely it can feel to move to a new place.

Even though I'm surrounded by awesome people, many times I feel alone and aloof. I'll be eating out with friends, but I feel strangely invisible; like I don't quite belong in Austin yet, but I can't go back to AA either. It's almost like I'm a ghost able to observe and hear everything that's happening, but I don't have any real presence in the area... like being caught in a state of transitional limbo. At times I'll be able to forget my sadness when I'm doing things, but when there's downtime to think, I get flooded with all the emotions that I've been repressing. Intellectually, I can reason through and tell myself how stupid I am for holding onto the past, but we are creatures of emotion, and it's been a tough week.

On the job searching front, I am really frustrated and overwhelmed. It seems like there is nothing I'm qualified for and I feel like I just don't know where to look. But that's how it goes, I just need to keep my head down and plow ahead through this time. But please keep me in your prayers, it would be much appreciated.

On the upside, I'm excited for OCR this week. I'll be able to go meet the students of UT as they come back for the new semester! I'll also be meeting up with Pastor Ben this Wed to discuss how this upcoming year's gonna look, so I'm looking forward to that as well. Even this past Sunday's video sermon (and I typically hate video sermons) was a great reminder to stay faithful in my prayers.

Well, as many of you know, I freakin love reading Psalms, and I feel like I can finally relate to this verse.

You are forgiving and good, O Lord,
abounding in love to all who call to you.
Hear my prayer, O LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.
In the day of my trouble I will
call to you,
for you will answer me.

Psalms 86:5

listening to: David Crowder- Only You