What frustrates you as a teacher?

After half a year under my belt, I feel like I've become less idealistic about what I can hope to accomplish in the lives of the students. To be honest, much of it was probably an inflated sense of what I thought I could do based on my limited experience and personality, but a lot of what a teacher can do is also based on forces out of his control (administration, parents, student's experiences).

Bribes, emotional appeals, one-on-one talks, and threats are all things I've had to try in order to get my kids to do the simplest of jobs, like going to class. What works for one student bombs completely with others, and sometimes what works one day fails the next. Every day feels like you're walking a tightrope. You get ignored on a regular basis and cursed out just as often.

What does get me amped and encouraged is when students are able to pull things together and exhibit progress in practicing self-control. One kid in particular has really grown up. Last year he would regularly be called down to be disciplined, and while he was in the room he would throw the most violent tantrums I've ever seen. Just a month ago while I was guarding one of the doors he ran up in front of me and kicked a hole in the wall right next to me. We tried everything with him and nothing ever seemed to work.

This new year he has been a completely new person. He hasn't been sent down to us for behavior issues (although he does act up sometimes) and when we praise him for all the good work he's been doing, he mentioned that his mom told him that the new year she wouldn't put up with his old behavior. (YES! Positive parent involvement!) Today we ate lunch together and I could just see a difference in his demeanor that made me so happy.

Conversely, when a normally good student gets in trouble for something so stupid, you just feel like crap because you invested so much hope in that kid. One of my kids is incredibly smart, behaves well 95% of the time, and is a lot of fun to talk to. Unfortunately he hangs with a bad crowd and today it got him into trouble when we found out after school that he just got caught with drugs. Efffff, what were you thinking??? It was such a crushing disappointment because that one lapse in judgment has such serious consequences.

I think it's the ride teachers unconsciously get taken on when we start getting attached to our students that gets so draining. When students do well we're on cloud 9 but we're also kicked and dragged through the mud when they choose to give up. In the end, it feels like your efforts are so inconsequential that you start to question how much you are really impacting them.

All in all, I do believe that teachers do play a large role in shaping the lives of their students. However I am well aware of all the hurdles and difficulties that lie in really reaching that goal. I gotta keep learning and equipping myself for this marathon.