Conversations with an exterminator

Our apartment is infested w/ ants. We've been trying to schedule an appointment with an exterminator, but for whatever reason, have been unable to get one to come until today. Anyways, he comes in with a straight up 100% southern drawl and decked out pretty much in this gettup.



He was wearing giant flood-pants with overall straps and a giant canister of bug spray. It was AWESOME! Anyways, I pointed out where we saw ants coming from and he takes this type of syringe thing and leaves out globs of gel. I'm curious so I ask him what that stuff was.

"Ahhhnt baiit." (ant bait)

Oh ummm cool. What's it do?

"This shi* attracts all them ants. Look here how they eat this shi* up. Let them get full an' bring that shi* back to their colony, with any luck it'll be goodbye colony. Good shi*"

hahaha... yeah, bye bye colony.

He then goes on this exterminator sermon about how you have to be careful about using oil when we're cooking because it'll attract roaches.

"Cookin' w/ oil is good stuff. Don't I know it. But that stuff is like crack for all them roaches and bugs and shi*. Once you get one to bring it back to their colony, ohhhhh boy. You're fuc**ed. I've seen some real shi*holes cuz of them roaches."

Hearing him talk about bugs and how to kill them almost made the 2 weeks of infestation worth it.